god’s unwritten law

can somebody either post/comment a list of all the halochos lmoshe m’sinai or at least point me somewhere where they’re listed? thanks.

-shitalphin

Best Missed Connection I’ve ever seen.

From Craigslist. If anyone was by Rosenberg’s wedding, maybe we can make a shidduch for a casual encounter.

Rosenberger’s Wedding in Viznitz Last Week – w4m
Reply to: pers-341591028@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-05-30, 8:25PM

Saw you by the men’s sweet table. You saw me by the mechitzah. We locked eyes.

Original URL: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/mis/341591028.html
————————————————-
this craigslist posting was forwarded to you by someone using our
email-a-friend feature

idiots stay away

CHULENT UPDATE:

This week’s class will be given by Atgate231. The second in a two
part series.

This week’s topic- Chasidic Karma: Our world, our selves.creating and
recreating.

The class will start at 9:00 PM

i went to his last lecture and it was fantastic. besides being jam-packed with fascinating info from obscure sources atgate231, thankfully, lacks the slickness of a professional public speaker which makes this incredibly erudite lecturer very human and accessible.

-shitalphin

chief rabbi eliyahu says all israeli civilians legitimate targets

 All civilians living in Gaza are collectively guilty for Kassam attacks on Sderot, former Sephardi chief rabbi Mordechai Eliyahu has written in a letter to Prime Minister Ehud Olmert.Eliyahu ruled that there was absolutely no moral prohibition against the indiscriminate killing of civilians during a potential massive military offensive on Gaza aimed at stopping the rocket launchings.

The letter, published in Olam Katan [Small World], a weekly pamphlet to be distributed in synagogues nationwide this Friday, cited the biblical story of the Shechem massacre (Genesis 34) and Maimonides’ commentary (Laws of Kings 9, 14) on the story as proof texts for his legal decision.

According to Jewish war ethics, wrote Eliyahu, an entire city holds collective responsibility for the immoral behavior of individuals. In Gaza, the entire populace is responsible because they do nothing to stop the firing of Kassam rockets.

The former chief rabbi also said it was forbidden to risk the lives of Jews in Sderot or the lives of IDF soldiers for fear of injuring or killing Palestinian noncombatants living in Gaza.

Eliyahu could not be reached for an interview. However, Eliyahu’s son, Shmuel Eliyahu, who is chief rabbi of Safed, said his father opposed a ground troop incursion into Gaza that would endanger IDF soldiers. Rather, he advocated carpet bombing the general area from which the Kassams were launched, regardless of the price in Palestinian life.

“If they don’t stop after we kill 100, then we must kill a thousand,” said Shmuel Eliyahu. “And if they do not stop after 1,000 then we must kill 10,000. If they still don’t stop we must kill 100,000, even a million. Whatever it takes to make them stop.”

In the letter, Eliyahu quoted from Psalms. “I will pursue my enemies and apprehend them and I will not desist until I have eradicated them.”

Eliyahu wrote that “This is a message to all leaders of the Jewish people not to be compassionate with those who shoot [rockets] at civilians in their houses.”

http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1180527966693&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull

profound quotes from musicians, relevant to our situation as –Journalists I guess

‘My Lord, I should be sorry if I only entertained them; I wished to make them better.’ (George Frederic Handel)

‘Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.’ (Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart)

I am convinced that there are universal currents of Divine Thought vibrating the ether everywhere and that any who can feel these vibrations is inspired.’ (Richard Wagner)

–yo

Why are you so bad?

‘No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks.’ (Mary Wollstonecraft)

–yo

city of david and jonathan

Jerusalem proudly presents

Ministry of Tourism’s next target: Bringing gay and lesbian tourists to Israel. The means: A campaign featuring a same-sex couple on a camel, two men in yarmulkes kissing in Jerusalem

Nurit Felter

Published:

05.29.07, 13:54 / Israel Travel

 

The proudest campaign ever was launched by the Tourism Ministry in cooperation with the Association for Civil Rights and the Israeli Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Association (the “Aguda”). The goal: To encourage GLBT tourism to Jerusalem.For the past few years, Tel Aviv, along with Berlin, Barcelona, and San Francisco, has established itself as a GLBT friendly city and a popular vacation site for the community’s members.
From the campaign (Photo: Eitan Tal)

As a result, the Tourism Ministry decided to launch a new campaign aimed at attracting “proud visitors” to the Holy Land. The campaign focuses on scenes from the Israeli gay community’s lifestyle.

http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3405955,00.html

girls come back we’re emasculated

Hey,

Why was the poem i sent not posted? Maybe if we had more such posts the
girls won’t run away…

Yehudit Kafri:
Potiphar’s Wife

What really happened
between Joseph and Potiphar’s wife?
What canal did he dig for her
in the desert?
What secret blue water flowed between them?
Maybe he blew his words gently into her ear
or maybe his eyes told her.
A woman doesn’t simply ask a man
to sleep with her. Something
happened between them,
but the Bible doesn’t tell.
Sure, Joseph was thrown into a pit.
Sure, he suffered, but he always
climbed to the top.
This dreamer of dreams,
who reached the highest position in Egypt,
was so practical he sold
his people as slaves to Pharaoh,
sold even the fields and cattle.
He gained wealth and power
and married Asenath,
daughter of the high Priest of On.
He was a respected man, apparently,
but what happened to Potiphar’s wife
when she was found in bed
with his robe in her hands?
What happened when she was left
with Potiphar?
I can’t even begin to tell,
though I know.

– translated by Jeff Friedman and Nathan Schwartz
  Literary Imagination, Volume 6; 2 p. 262.

atgate231

my screensaver

עָנָה וְאָמַר רַבֵּנוּ, זִכְרוֹנוֹ לִבְרָכָה: הִנֵּה הַכֹּל אוֹמְרִים, שֶׁיֵּשׁ עוֹלָם הַזֶּה וְעוֹלָם הַבָּא. וְהִנֵּה עוֹלָם הַבָּא אָנוּ מַאֲמִינִים שֶׁיֵּשׁ עוֹלָם הַבָּא, אֶפְשָׁר יֵשׁ גַּם עוֹלָם הַזֶּה גַּם – כֵּן בְּאֵיזֶה עוֹלָם, כִּי בְּכָאן נִרְאֶה שֶׁהוּא הַגֵּיהִנֹּם, כִּי כֻלָּם מְלֵאִים יִסּוּרִים גְּדוֹלִים תָּמִיד. וְאָמַר: שֶׁאֵין נִמְצָא שׁוּם עוֹלָם הַזֶּה כְּלָל:

ליקוטי מוהר”ן מהדו”ב קיט

-mohammed

Man Invents Beer Launching Fridge

RALIEGH, NC — An inventor has come up with a fridge that throws cold cans of beer to lazy drinkers.

John Cornwell spent $3000 creating the Beer Launching Fridge, and his invention is attracting lots of interest since videos of it in action were posted on the Internet.
The fridge is activated by a remote control which sets off a lift mechanism in the fridge. The lift delivers the can to an electronic catapult, which rotates until it is lined up with its thirsty target.

It then hurls the beer up to 10 feet to the drinker. It can hold a full 24-can crate — 10 beers in its magazine and 14 more in reserve.

John, 22, a recent college graduate, said: “The idea was conceived when I was sitting on the sofa having a few beers. I thought, ‘What if instead of me going to get the beer, the beer came to me?’

“About three months later I have a fully automated, remote-controlled, catapulting, beer-launching mini-fridge. There is a slight danger of being hit in the head with a flying can but this danger decreases the more you use it.”

all the way at the bottom

-mohammed

Nature is Dependant Upon Chazal. “boruch atem chazal shehakoyl nihya bidvaram”

אמר רבי אבין (תהילים נז) אקרא לאלהים עליון לאל גומר עלי בת שלש שנים ויום אחד ונמלכין ב”ד לעוברו הבתולין חוזרין ואם לאו אין הבתולין חוזרין:

וכדי שלא ישאל השואל היאך אפשר שתהיה חזרת בתולים שהוא דבר טבעי בה תלוי בעיבורו של חודש על פי בית דין הילכך בא רבי אבין ואמר אל תתמה כי השי”ת מאחר וממהר החזרת הבתולים לפי מה שהב”ד קובעין השנים בעיבורם וזהו דכתיב “לאל גומר עלי” פירושו גומר ומסכים לב”ד של מטה בעיבורם ומחדש הטבע כפי רצונם ואם עיברו השנה בתוליה חוזרין
שו”ת באר שבע סי י”ד

rabi avin said “i call to god on high to a god that decides for me” psalms LVII, a girl three years and one day and the court decides to extend the year her hymen returns if not they don’t.

“and in order no one should wonder how is it possible that the regrowth of the hymen which is something natural should be dependent on the court’s fixing of the calendar rabi avin said do not be confounded because god delays or speeds up the regrowth of the hymen according to the rabbis fixing of the calendar as it is written “god decides for me” He decides and agrees with the rabbis and He adjusts nature according to their will and if they make it a leap year her hymen will regrow.” -responsa of beer sheva ch.14

 -jachnoun

if this is moshiach’s tsaytn i want none of it

THE YANKEES 14 1/2 GAMES BACK! CAN THE LION AND THE LAMB BE FAR BEHIND? I HOPE NOT.

without the cosmic battle between the red sox and the yankees baseball just resorts to what it is for everybody outside of new england: a pasttime.

does god (he of in the big inning) not understand baseball? does he think this is repayment for me being a good jew who welcomed a yankee fan into my home?

do i wanna beat the yankees? you bet. but let it be on the last day of the season or in the AL playoffs or let him perform a miracle and let us meet them in the world series. having them sit in the cellar with tampa bay, though a deserving disgrace and enjoyable when one compares their payrolls, but who are the sox supposed to beat: milwaukee?

though there are the mets of ‘86 infamy  and avenging billy buckner, hmmm….

NAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!  I WANNA SHOVE A CATCHER’S MITT INTO A-FRAUD’S PHOTOGENIC PUSS. I WANNA GRAB DON ZIMMER’S FAT HEAD AND THROW HIS FAT BODY TO THE GROUND.

PLEASE GOD, LET THE YANKEES WIN SO WE CAN CRUSH’EM.

-shitalphin

p.s. then we can beat the mets

ironic, won’t ya say?

I was one of the Rabbis who convinced the band leader to dump his non-Jewish girlfriend. Funny, he didn’t believe in God and he discovered that he is Avigdor Miller’s great-great nephew. When I saw the poster for the band in Morningside Heights I did a double take. The face. That’s him! One more thing: he is a great guy! A real Tzadik, I’m telling you…

“Ta-Shma” Shine

and here is a duet with our very own Y-Love.

Ta-Shma & Y-Love

-who else but…

An infant of under three years who has had sexual intercourse — is her hymen torn and healed, or does it not tear at all?

The sages ruled that one who has sexual intercourse with an infant under the age of three is not considered to have had sexual intercourse. The Halachic implication is that if there is incest with a child under three (for example,a sick father who has sexual relations.. with his under three year old daughter…-gemoro-) it is not considered incest and the father is exempt from punishment!!!!!.

The sages explained their determination by saying that having sexual relations with a girl under the age of three is like sticking a finger in a person’s eye: she will remain a virgin and so the sexual intercourse is without significance. The students discussed how this infant remains a virgin after sexual relations: is it because the hymen of an infant who has had sex is torn and then heals, or is it because the hymen does not tear in the first place? What does it matter what the reason is? Answer: These explanations have Halachic implications. Is the infant considered licentious and thus forbidden to a cohen? A man has sex with an infant under the age of three and she bleeds in the wake of this intercourse. After she grows and passes the age of three a cohen has intercourse with her and she does not bleed in the wake of intercourse. If we follow the first opinion, that the hymen tears and heals, perhaps she did not bleed when having intercourse with the cohen because not enough time had passed for her hymen to heal. But if we follow the second school of thought, that her hymen doesn’t tear at all, there is a suspicion that she had sexual intercourse with another man after she turned three, and that is why the sexual relations with the cohen did not cause bleeding; her hymen was torn after she turned three. The girl is then considered licentious and forbidden to a cohen. One of the sages rejected this conclusion, this Halachic implication. In his opinion, based on both schools of thought we must suspect she had sexual relations again after she turned three, and that is why she is considered licentious and forbidden to a cohen. In his opinion there is a different conclusion, one called for in the case of a man who has sexual intercourse with an infant under the age of three and blood is shed as a result of the intercourse. If we suppose that under the age of three her hymen is not torn, then the blood is menstrual blood and she is impure, but if we suppose that her hymen tears and heals, then she is not impure with niddah impurity and the blood which is shed is hymeneal blood. (The Talmud rules that the hymen of an infant under the age of three tears and heals.)
(תלמוד בבלי, מסכת נדה, דף מה, עמוד א nidah 45a)

-learning talmud on 7fc

Charedi Porn Going Mainstream

Jewcy with a post about the new phenomenon spreading from Jerusalem, via Bnai Brack and soon in a Shtiebel near you? What is so sick, scary and great about this, is that it’s all true.

Jun 3 2007 – 6:30pm VENUE: Grand Space 778 Bergen Street Brooklyn, NY 11238 website See map: Google Ma

KinkyJews’ Jewish Porn Double Feature – Assraelis and Yiddish Erotica Vol. 1

…Yiddish Erotica Vol. 1 (1987): Oy vey! You’ll find lots to like within this carnal compilation, which brings together some of the hottest sex scenes from Essex videos during the mid-80’s. And while it’s called ‘Yiddish Erotica,’ most of the Jewish-themed jokes are pretty much restricted to the box cover (boo!). Once you actually pop this one in the DVD player, though, it’s a straight-forward collection of one-on-one scenes featuring some of the tastiest tarts of the time. And anyone who remembers 80’s porn will have some favorites among the sassy starlets on hand here…

-hat tip to Ish